The things I do to lose weight and other gloomy feelings.

I started a 14-day diet today. I realize once it's done with it will be up to me to continue to eat healthy and maintain. I don't worry too much about the maintenance since I am stuck there at the moment.

I learned that I REALLY hate grapefruit. I was almost praying that I would have a medication interaction with it. LOL. I am not eating anymore of that, going to have to find a good substitute.

My breakfast was half a grapefruit (I didn't hardly any of it..yuck) and toasted 45 calorie wheat bread. The bread was actually good considering I don't like wheat bread. And then some sugar free lemonade in my bottled water.

Lunch is a tomato (not enough time this morning to slice it), tuna, and diet dr. pepper.

And I can have carrots or celery for snacks. I opted for the carrots. This really better be worth it.

I have no idea what is for dinner, I am afraid to look. Luckily I don't eat a lot anymore as it is since I cut down a while back.

Last night though I did have a craving for In-N-Out Burger. I asked my husband where the nearest one is and his reply was "Phoenix, AZ." I looked at him like he was crazy and told him does it look I'm driving that far just for a burger and fries. LOL.

I think I need to go to California, particularly near Anaheim for some good food someday soon for In-N-Out Burger and an awesome pizza place that is there.

Enough talk of food, lunch is almost over.

On another note, I'm having an up and down emotional week.

One moment I know what I need and the next I don't.

I went home yesterday in a weird mood, luckily my night ended well but I feel the weird mood coming on again. I haven't felt this way in 4 years.Then again maybe I have.

I don't get it. Life is in many ways going so well. There are things that are better than they've been in a long time. My marriage has changed in many ways for the better. I feel more appreciated, loved, and understood. I've enjoyed the time well spent together. I feel like someone actually cares about me and my wants and needs. Yet I still having this impending gloom hanging over my head.

edited: I'm now home and feel just fine. 40 minute drive home can sometimes do wonders if you let yourself think about things. It can turn a good mood bad or make a bad one disappear.

I think it's a combination of two things. And neither of them I want to face. I think to myself, "do I lie or tell the truth?" I know the truth can lead to some of it being worked on but afraid of what all it will do to me. And I'm a horrible liar. It's just best I say nothing at all. I don't know, we will see what next week brings. Tuesday, I'll see how the mood is and go from there.

Everything has its consequences.

I promise to share some kind of positive news/words later.

Today is my last day of student teaching and I'm really tired. A nap always makes things a little better. :)

Another edit since I've walked in the door: Yesterday my pet peeve and driving force to really make me upset was about lying. And later I will touch on that. But today driving home I realized first of all just how dumb some of the lies I've been told have been and how stupid, gullible, or whatever you call it I was to believe them. I was literally laughing in the car and sure plenty of other drivers were thinking I was nuts.

So since I have a certain way I feel about lies, I figure that next week I won't ask myself, "do I lie or do I tell the truth" for two reasons. One I'm contradicting a belief I have and two I will be wasting my money and my time by lying to this person who gets paid whether or not I tell the truth. And I rather get my money's worth by telling the truth and being able to have help feeling better! :) At the same time telling the truth means I will have to tell something in addition that is embarrassing. Sigh. Maybe if it was a woman I was talking to it wouldn't be so bad. LOL.

Now I can only imagine what is in the minds of others.

Later I'll share my pet peeve about lying.

Better mood but still taking a nap!